by Sajid Holy
Aaj masjid ke darwaze par shaadi kar card le kar logo ke saamne hath phailae hue khadi hai, mahaz isliye ke us ladke se uska nikha tay hua hai. Yeh nikaah hai ya zillat aur musibat ka aaghaaz?
“Waqayi Allaah kisi qaum ki haalat ko nahin badalta jab tak woh khud apni haalat ko na badle, aur jab Allaah kisi quam par museebat daalna chaahe to us ke hatne ki koi soorat nahi, aur Allaah ke siwa koi unka madad-gaar nahih rehta.” (Surah Ar-Ra’d 13:11)
Ladki aur uske walidain / rishtedaaron ki ma’aashi haalat kharab hai, unki yeh ghurbat, bebasi, lachari aur mohtaaji is duniya ke aarzi masaail hain, jo maut se saath khatm ho jayenge. Yeh unke liye aazmaaish hai. Yeh tajjub ki baat nahi ki aise masaail se ghira insaan, shadi byah wagairah ke mauko par logo ke saamne haath phailane par majboor ho jata hai. Yeh fitri chiz hai. Lekin aham sawal yaha par chaar hain:
Ek to yeh ki taawoon ki darkar rakh kar woh garib family ladki ki shaadi mein kis par, kitna aur kyon kharch karti hai? Agar waqai me zarooriyat-e-zindagi ke asbaab unhe mayassar nahi aur logo se woh aisi chizo par kharch karne ke liye madad talab karte hain jiske bagair guzara nahi ho sakta to phir thik hai.
Is par tambeeh nahi ki jaa sakti. Lekin agar be-jaa israaf aur dikhawe ki buniyad par sainkdo logo ke khaane ki dawat rakhna darkar hai to phir yeh logo ke maal ki sadka khairat aur zakat keh kar lena aur uske na-jaaiz kharch karna hua.
Ladki walo ki taraf se khane ki dawat ka salaf se koi saboot nahi milta, siwaye ki door se musafir ban kar log aaye ho aur unki mehman nawazi ki jaye – shadi ki buniyad par nahi lekin mezbaan hone ki aur husn-e-akhlaaq ki buniyad par.
Isse bhi zyada ghair sharayi aur bebuniyad baat yeh hai ki masaajid me elan karwa kar, logo se chanda jama karke, jamiyato se tauseeyah (authentification letter) le kar, logo se imdad manga aur phir woh paisa ladke wale ko bataur se dahej dena jiska doosra naam shaadi karne ke liye rishwat lena bhi ho sakta hai.
Jee ha, yahi to hai!! Us be-ghairat ladke ke gharwalo ne bilkul naa-jaiz condition rakhi hai, ki agar rishta hoga to maal o mataa ki buniyad par hoga. Agar list me likhi sari chize dulhe ko faraham ki jaye, tab hi mamla set hoga, warna nahi. Ajeeb saude baazi hai, aur dar-asl yeh saudebaazi is note ka topic nahi, balki musibat yeh hai ki log zakat aur sadka samajh kar tawoon karenge aur phir woh paisa aise naakaara aur na’maqool beghairat insaan ke mooh me thoonsa jayega jo yeh kehta hai ki shadi ki buniyad par yeh paisa mere education, meri personality, mere status, mere khaandaan aur mujhse talluk qayam karne ki keemat hai!! Kya waqai yeh aapki charity ka fair investment hai? Kya waqai is tarha ka mutalba karne wale “musta’hiq” ki category mein aate hain?
Hume pata hai ki logo ke intentions ko jaan’na aasan nahi aur hadith ka bhi mafhoom hai ki ek insaan kisi zaani aurat ko, phir kisi chor ko phir kisi maaldaar ko anjaane me khairaat de deta hai to usse kaha jata hai ki woh yeh na samjhe ki uska diya hua maal zaya ho gaya, balki uski niyyat sadka karne ki thi, uska sawab use zaroor ba zaroor milega. in sha Allah. Lekin shaadiyo ke naam par logo se maal ikat’tha karne ka yeh system samaaj me nasoor ki tarha kuch is tarha phair chuka hai ki authenticity ka percentage kam se kam hota ja raha hai, aur ghehu ke sath ghun bhi pis jata hai.
Doosra sawal yeh hai, ki woh ladki jo kuchh dino baad jis ladke ki nikaah me aane wali hai, uske aadhe deen ko mukammal karne wali hai, uski nasl ko aage badhane wali hai, uske ghar ki raunak banne wali hai, woh ladki (ya uske koi rishtedaar) aaj masjid ke darwaze par shaadi kar card le kar logo ke saamne hath phailae hue khadi hai, mahaz isliye ke us ladke se uska nikha tay hua hai. Yeh nikaah hai ya zillat aur musibat ka aaghaaz? Us ladke ki ghairat, uska self respect, uska common sense kaha gaya? Kya waqai me uski aql maari gayi hai? Jee ha bilkul!
Use itna bhi sha’oor nahi ki usne ya uske gharwalo ne ladki se bejaa mutalabon ki jhadi barsa kar ladki aur uske gharwalo ko beizzati aur zillat ki dehleej par laa kar khada kar diya hai? Phir kaun se mooh se woh sherwani pehan kar baatees dant dikha kar stage par khada ho kar mubarakbaadiya qubool karta hai?
Us zaalim ne to ladki aur uske gharwalo ki zindagi me ek toofan barpa kar diya, jo insan bhook se tadapne ke bawajood aur maut ke qareeb hone ke bawajood bhi kabhi kisi ke saamne hath phailane ki jurrat nahi karta tha, aaj woh logo ke samne mahaz isliye haath phaila raha hai ki usne is bewakoof ladke se apni beti ka rishta tay kiya hai?
Kya isi ko “qawwam” aur “rijaal” kaha jata hai? Hargiz nahi!! Zaroorat hai ki is qaum ka naujawan ba’shaoor ho, jaage, aur is ghaleez system ko band kare aur karwaye. Agar nahi kar sakta to phir woh apne “mard” hone ke daawe aur bharam ko chhood kar choodiyan pahan le.
Teesri baat yeh hai ki is saari system aur bawaal ke zimmedaar hum khud hain. Hame chahiye ki sabse pehle to society me is rasm o riwaaj ko band karwayeh aur shuruaat apne ghar se karen. Ladki walo ki taraf se kisi bhi chiz ka mutalba na karen yaha tak ki unki taraf se dawat bhi band karwaye.
Nikaah Nabi sallallahu alaihi wa sallam ki sunnat hai aur sunnat me apni nafs ki dakhal’andaazi karna shariyat, akhlaaqiyat, muaamlaat aur islam ki talimaat ke sath khilwaad karna hai. Jo insan hamesha apne aap ko tawheed parast kehta hai, aise mauko par nafs ko apna mabood bana leta hai.
Yeh society culture aur maujooda muaashra hai, jo israaf se badh kar tabzeel tak pahuch jata hai, aur logo ladki walo ki taqreebat ko shadi ka lazim hissa qarar de dete hain aur samajhte hain ki iske baghair shaadi mumkin nahi.
“Log kya kahenge” ka shoshaa humne hi chhoda hai aur ab woh bandar ki dum me aag lagane ka kaam kar chuka hai. Yeh aag phair chuki hai. Zarurat hai ek zaheen fire brigade aur fire extinguisher ki. Shadiyon ke functions ko muzayyan karke high society walo ne middle class aur lower middle class ko bhi majboor kar diya hai, ki woh samajne lage hain, ki hamari bachhi ki shaadi bhi fala fala rasm o riwaj ka bagair nahi ho sakti. Yeh tasawwur saare maujooda muslim muaashre ke mooh par zordaar tamacha hai jisne dawa to salaf ki pairwi ka kiya lekin jab khushi ka mauka aaya to pick and choose ka deen apna liya.
Chauthi aur aakhir baat. Woh ladki jis par ladke aur uske ghar walo ne naa sirf shaadi ke waqt balki nikah ke baad bhi waqtan ba waqtan dahej ke naam par sitam dhaya hai, uski nazar me apne shauhar ka kya izzat o waqaar reh jayega?
Aakhirat ke roz biwi se pucha jayega shauhar ke akhlaaq aur qirdaar ke bare mein. Uski gawahi mana rakhti hai. Tawheed aur huqooqullah ke baad insan ki qamyabi ka us par daromadar isi par hai ki woh apne gharwalo se sath kaise pesh aya tha. Yaha to mahar se pichha chhudane ke khwahishmand bhi bahut hai. Huqooq ul ibaad ke sath aisa khilwaad? Goya ki nikah ki sunnat ko hi nahi balki nizam e zindagi ko bhi mazak bana kar rakh diya.
Jab shauhar apni biwi ko lekar air conditioned car aur bunglow me aish kar raha hoga to kya baar baar us aurat ke samne apne majboor maa baap ka chehra nahi aayega, jinho ne zillat o khwari jhel kar aise insan se uska nikah karwaya?
Sawalo ki fehrist lambi hai, lekin saare jawab aapke paas maujood hai. Allah hum sabko nek tawfeek ata farmaye, khurafat se door rakhe aur hidayat’yafta logo me hamara shumar farmaye.
