Shaadi me Fuzool Kharch

by Sajid Holy

Shaadi ya nikaah ko aasan banane ke mutallik kaee ahadees aayi hain. Nikah ko Islam me itna aasan banaya gaya hai ki agar kisi ke paas maal na ho aur use Quran ka iLm ho to woh apni biwi ki Quran sikha de, wahi uski mahr hogi. Ghurbat ki buniyad par nikah takheer se karna, yeh Islami taleemaat nahi hai. Agar kisi ke paas maal-o-mata na ho aur woh nikah ka intekhab kare to Allah uske rishto me barkat aur uski rozi ka intezam kar dega, in’sha’Allah.

“Sabse behtar shaadi woh hai jisme kharch kam ho” (mafhoom)
(al-Bayhaqi – Shu’ab al-Iman, Mishkat al-Masabih).

Agar paiso ki shakl me mahr di jaye to use bhi maqool karne ki taqeed hai taaki dulhe par bojh na ho aur isi tarha waleema ke bare me bhi kaha gaya hai :

Anas radiyallaho anho riwayat karte hain ki Nabi ne ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf radiyallaho anho  se (jab unka nikah hua to) kaha: “Waleema karo, chahe ek dumba (sheep) hi kyon na ho.” (mafhoom)
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.395

In sab baton se pata chalta hai ki nikah hamare muashre me shara’an bojh aur sar’dard nahi hai, logo ne bana liya hai. Aur is qadr bana liya hai, ki khilaf-e-sunnat nikaho ki wajah se zindagiyan barbaad ho jati hain.

Ladki walo par jahez ka bojh dalne ke bare me kaee tafsire ho chuke hain. Is post me us mas’ale ka zikr nahi hai, balki ek alag musibat ki baat karna chahte hain, jiske sath ummat aankh’michauli khel rahi hai, nazarandaz kar rahi hai aur barbadi ka shikar ho rahi hai. Woh kya hai?

Agar ladka baaligh ho jaye aur nikah ki umr ko pacuch jaye, thodi bahut kamayi bhi shuru kar de, jisse woh apne gharwalo ka pet paal le, aur use yeh bhi andaza ya yakeen ho ki itni aamdani me mein apni hone wali biwi ke akhrajat bhi utha paunga, to use aur uske gharwalo ko chaihye ki phir nikah ke mamle me zyada takheer na kare, khoosoosan tab-jab ladki wale bhi

Deendari ki buniyad par showbaazi kiye bina, saadgi se nikah karne ko tayyar ho.

Lekin mamla iske bar’aqs yeh dekha jata hai, ki maujooda muashre ya society ne kuchh unwritten rules bana rakhe hain, itni tadaad me waleeme me guests ko invite karna, fala fala function hall ya marriage hall / shaadikhaane me program rakhna, dulhan(walo) ko itna itna gold dena yeh laazim qarar diya jata hai, aur yeh baat tayshuda samjhi jati hai ki iske baghair nikah ho hi nahi sakta. 4-5 lakh ya 8-10 lakh ko minimum criteria mutayyan kiya jata hai, aur ladke par sire se walidain ya rishtedaro ki taraf se bojh dala jata hai ki itni rakam ka intezam karo tab ja kar nikah hoga, warna nahi, kyonki hame samaaj me “mooh” dikhana hai (Allah ke samne nahi!)

Is musibat ko ladka bhi gale laga leta hai. Yaad rahe ki yeh kharch shadi “karne” ke liye mutayyan hota hai, naa ki “shaadi ke baad ghar chalane ke liye” kyonki logo ki zehniyat yeh hoti hai ki ghar me to chatni-roti kha kar guzara ho jayega, shadi ek bar hoti hai (kisne kaha ki phir teen martaba aur nahi ki ja sakti?) to zorshor se jashn manaya jaye aur logo ko dikha diya jaye ki yeh hamare laadle bete ki shaadi hai!

Iska anjaam aur is zehniyat ki haulnakiyan kitni khatarnaak hai, use gosh-guzar karna maqsood hai.

1) Jab ladke par yeh bojh daal diya jata hai, to phir use lagta hai ki apne mulk me rah kar itni rakam ka intezam karna practically possible nahi. Woh doosre mulk me job ki koshish karta hai, contract sign karta hai, jo barso tak chalta hai (shaadi ke baad bhi), yeh kadam kabhi to woh apne liye utha’ta hai to kabhi apni behn(o) ki shadi karwane ke liye. Yaad rahe ki is jadd-o-jahad ka maqsad shaadi karne tak hi mehdood hota hai, target wahi hota hai ki itna itna paisa jama ho jaye, shaadi “ho jaye”..bass. Is pasmanzar me jab woh doosre mulk me job kar leta hai, phir is bich kuch rakam jama ho jati hai, aur shaadi ho jati hai, phir use laaziman apne mulk se bahar jana hai. Har koi family visa afford nahi kar sakta.

Shaadi ho jane ke baad yeh bhoot sar se utar jata hai aur use ghar me zyada waqt bitane ki zaroorat mahsoos hoti hai, jo kaafi had tak namumkin hota hai, kyonki yeh sirf tab ho sakta hai jab use chhuttiya mila, warna nahi. Umr ka ek hissa isi tarha guzar jata hai, jis career ki shuruat usne mahaz “shaadi karne ke liya paisa ikath’tha karne ki garz se” ki thi, woh career ab use achhi nahi lagti aur woh sochta hai ki kash mene yeh kadam na uthaya hota ya shadi me itna kharch na kiya hota to shadi ke baad ki zindagi me yeh paisa kaam ata. Isi afsos ke sath budhapa aa jata hai.

2) Doosri shakl yeh hoti hai ki jab saadgi se shaadi karne par samaj rok lagata hai aur bekar ki formalities ke liye dher sare paise kharch karne ke liye andarooni zabardasti hoti hai, aur jab ek insan nahi kar pata to phir hame pata hona chahiye ki aakhir woh bhi ek mard hai aur uske andar bhi Allah ne jinsi khwahishat rakhi hai. Kabhi to aise naujawan masturbation, pornography movies literature wagairah ki taraf maail ho jate hai jisse unke gunaho me izafa hota hai aur kabhi to unki sexual health par buri asar hoti hai. Isse aage badh kar kuch naujawan zina ki taraf aage badh jate hain, aur is tarha unki dunya wa aakhirat barbad ho jati hai. Na sirf unki balki agar woh log rape jaise crimes kar baithe to phir samne wale ki zindagi bhi tabah kar deta hain. Iska gunah aur iski zimmedari kis par hai?

3) Teesri shakl yeh hoti hai ki kisi bhi tarha paisa jama karna hai. Zariya chahe “kuchh bhi” ho. Kuchh log karz me doobte chale jate hai. Karz e hasana ho tab bhi yeh bada bojh hai, jab ki ummat ka ek tabka aisa hai jo bank loans aur soodi nizam ke chakkar me bhi pad jata hai kyonki ab umr ho gayi hai, shaadi karna hai aur itni itni tayyari karna hai, saadgi se shaadi na to hamne ki thi, na hamare baap dada ya par’dada ne, miya gire par tangid oonchi ki shakl hoti hai aur karz me doob kar. Allah aur uske rasool (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) se jung ka elan karke (sood le kar) bhi shaadi me beshumar kharch karte hai, yeh nahoosat aur yeh bimari bhi aajkal ummate muslima me nasoor ki tarha phail chuki hai. Khwahishat e nafs ki pairwi me aur “arman nikalne” ke bahane me insan kis had tak gunaho me mulavvis hota chala jata hi, pata nahi chalta. Phir umr ka ek bada hissa us karz aur sood ko chukane me lag jata hai, aur ek waqt ata hai jab woh sochta hai ki yeh bhi kya zindagi hai, kash mene saadgi se shadi ki hoti.

Aur jo log na to sood me mulavvis hote hain, na unhe behrooni mulk jaa kar kamane ki zaroorat padti hai, na fahashi me mubtala hote hain, na shaadi me taakhir karte hain, balki sahib-e-nisaab hote hain aur baap dada ki badi jaagiren jinke paas hoti hain, woh log yeh samajh kar fizul kharchi aur shaadi me man’maani na karen ki hum log to sirf apna halal paisa apni marzi se kharch kar rahe hain, kyonki woh log bhi beja israaf karne ke gunah me pakde jayenge. Yahi woh log hai jo ummat ke maaldaar tabke se talluk rakhte hain, jo trendsetters hote hain, unhi ki wajah se society me mahol banta hai aur ghareeb par bhi yeh binzaroori zimmedari ayad ki jati hai ki tumhe bhi isi shaadi aur waleeme ki is tareeka-e-qaar se guzarna hoga aur isi shano shaukat se mehman nawazi karni hogi, jo ameero ka sheva hai. Inhi ki wajah se tarha tarha ki dishes serve karne wali catering services, wedding cards ki printing industry, tagdi fees wasool karne wale mahal-numa function halls aur zeenat’afroz shahi libaas banane wale wedding wear, party wear, ethnic dresses ke naam par textile industry phoolti’phalti hai aur ummat kar arbo rupya ek do din me dhuan dhuan ho jata hai.

Iske alawa bhi kaee musibato se insan do-char hota hai, lekin agar inhi halaat par ghaur karke aag lagne se pahle hi ummate muslima ke ghehri neend me soye hue log koonwa khod le to behtar hoga. Allah hum sabko gunaho se mehfooz rakhe. Aamin.