Oh my dear daughter, take from me these ten qualities, they will be for you a stored treasure and a reminder.
First – Accompany him with contentment and live with him in a good manner.
Second – Listen to him and obey him.
Third and Fourth – Take care of his eyes and take care of his nose, so do not let him see anything ugly from you, and only let him smell pleasant smells from you. Kohl is the best beautification while water is the sweetest of the rare perfumes.
Fifth and Sixth – Pay attention to his meal times, and be quiet during his sleep moments, because the heat of hunger is like burning flame and disturbing his sleep will anger him.
Seventh and Eight – Take care of his home and his wealth and look over him, and his children. Protecting his wealth shows good judgment, while watching over his children shows good management.
Ninth and Tenth – Do not expose his secrets and do not disobey his commands. If you expose his secrets, he will never feel safe with you, and if you disobey his commands, his heart will boil with anger towards you.
“Beware of showing happiness infront of him when he is sad, and do not express sorry in front of him when he is happy. In the first scenario it shows negligence, and the second scenario will cause him sadness.
Show him utmost respect and utmost honor, and agree with him as much as possible; this will increase your companionship.
And know—you will not attain what you love until you prefer his happiness over your happiness, and his desires over your desires concerning what you like and dislike. May Allah grant you what is best.”
A Message Exclusively to the Muslim Women, page: 31-32. Author: Shaykh Jamal al-Harithee. Translation: Rasheed Barbee.